Achieve Orgasm During Intercourse:
How To Reach Your Orgasm During Intercourse

This website is entirely designed towards promoting women's sexual satisfaction.  But the first thing to ask is - well, what would sexual satisfaction actually look like for a woman? What is it that gives women pleasure in bed?  Perhaps an easier way to answer this question is to ask which sexual issues women complain about most. And that's easy to discover!  The sexual concern uppermost in women's minds is that they do not achieve orgasm during intercourse - and they wish to know how this can be done! 

Achieve orgasmic satisfaction during intercourse!

Click here for our unique program of sexual techniques guaranteed to help you become more easily orgasmic!

When asked to state their "main" problems (more than one) with sexual intercourse, a group of women replied as follows to the survey conducted by VulvaVelvet.org about women's sexual responses:

75% said they rarely or never achieved orgasm during intercourse
55% said intercourse did not last long enough
40% said their partner came too quickly
22% said they were sometimes encouraged to have sex by their partner even if they did not want it
15% said they had low sexual drive
and the rest provided a range of answers including "varying desire through the month", "the need for contraception", "not being able to have sex during menstruation", "not feeling in the mood after having children", "sex drive very different to partner's" and so on.

Many women are ashamed of the fact that they cannot - or, more accurately, do not - achieve orgasm during intercourse.  In fact, they may even think they have a serious problem, or that something is wrong with them. But the truth is that this is completely normal! That fact may surprise you, but it is true, so let me repeat it: very few women achieve orgasm during sex, and this is actually quite normal. Estimates of the percentage of women who get to orgasm during intercourse vary from almost none to about half.  But our research shows that the real number may be between one in ten and one in five.

In the survey we mentioned above, other questions about achieving orgasm during intercourse produced some interesting replies. In response to the question "How often do you get to orgasm during intercourse, with no additional stimulation?"

14% of women said that they "always" reach orgasm during intercourse with a partner
11% of women said that they "sometimes" reach orgasm during intercourse with a partner
75% of women said they "rarely" or "never" had an orgasm during intercourse with a partner

But even when you look at the 14% who said they always come during sex with a partner, it turns out that this is generally not through vaginal thrusting alone: one of the ways in which couples often ensure a woman achieves orgasm during intercourse is to stimulate the woman's clitoris while the man thrusts in her vagina. Sometimes the man stimulates her clitoris, sometimes the woman stimulates herself: in either case, it increases the frequency of orgasm during vaginal sex, as you would expect. About 66% of women could come during intercourse when they tried this method. Other variations which women use to achieve orgasm during vaginal sex include having sex in the woman-on-top position while she pushes herself against him (35%), the partners pressing their pubic bones together (14%), and having extended foreplay before penetration (11%).

If you have been wondering why you can't achieve orgasm during intercourse, it's probably very helpful to know that most women do not have an orgasm during intercourse.  In fact, it's actually normal not to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse (although it's quite normal to want to do so!) And this explains, at least partly, why so many women masturbate - it's presumably one of the major ways in which they enjoy orgasm. They certainly don't have many orgasms during sex!

When asked if they masturbated, women responded as follows:

82% of women said they masturbate
15% of women said they do not masturbate
3% of women didn't reply

Of the women who said they masturbated:

66.0% reached orgasm "always" 
29.3% reached orgasm "sometimes"
3.0% reached orgasm "occasionally"
and just a few reached orgasm "rarely"

There are several reasons why women have trouble achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse.  The first of these, at least in many women's minds, is that most men simply cannot thrust in the vagina for long enough to bring a woman to orgasm. Premature ejaculation has been described as the scourge of sex in our time.  And whilst that might be an overstatement, it certainly has a lot of truth in it.  We know, for example, that over 75% of men cannot last longer than two minutes from penetration to ejaculation.  Of course dealing with men's premature ejaculation is a whole subject in itself.  And if you're a woman who wants to achieve orgasm during intercourse, you may believe that one of the reasons you do not do so is that your man cannot last each for long enough in bed to provide enough vaginal stimulation for you to experience an orgasm.

Of course it is important for men to take responsibility for not only their own sexual pleasure but also for their partners' sexual pleasure, at least where their partners' sexual pleasure depends on their ability to make love for longer than two minutes at a time.  The question is, of course, would longer thrusting really make any difference to a woman's capacity to reach orgasm?

We can get a clue to the answer by looking at the percentage of women who achieve orgasm when they are with men who are able to thrust for at least 15 minutes before they ejaculate. The remarkable thing is that even among this group of women, who at first might seem to be very fortunate, the frequency of orgasm during intercourse is actually still very low.  In fact, it turns out to be just as low as it is in any other group of women.

In the survey by VulvaVelvet.org, the question "If your partner can last for fifteen minutes or more before he ejaculates  during intercourse, do you achieve orgasm through penile thrusting alone?" produced the following answers:

10% of women said that they "always" came during sex with their partner
20% of women said that they "sometimes" came during sex with their partner
70% of women said they "rarely" or "never" came during sex with their partner

So, this brings us to the second reason why women have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse.  The simple fact is that most women rely on clitoral stimulation, if not entirely, at least primarily, to reach orgasm.  You've probably noticed that during sexual intercourse there are very few sex positions that will stimulate the clitoris in a way likely to help a woman achieve orgasm during intercourse.  And even the much vaunted coital alignment technique seems so complicated that most couples give up with it long before they achieve success.  Given these difficulties, it hardly seems surprising that many women have a low expectation of orgasmic pleasure during intercourse.

The third factor, with which most of you will already be familiar, is the simple and undeniable difference between men and women's sexual arousal: men are quicker to arouse, quicker to reach orgasm, and quicker to lose their arousal after sex than women.  The hard reality is that while men can be fully aroused in a minute or two, most women, most of the time, require twenty minutes or even more of gentle foreplay before they feel aroused enough to really desire and want sexual contact.

The problem, however, goes deeper than this, for the vast majority of men lose interest in sex once they have ejaculated. This means that if the first part of sex is devoted to the man's pleasure, the inevitable result is that the woman is likely to be unsatisfied, left hanging without an orgasm, frustrated and probably rather resentful, whilst her man slumbers peacefully next to her. The first part of sex becomes the final part of sex. There is no second part, the part which should be devoted to the woman's pleasure.

Of course, what we are describing here is the conventional view of the incompatibility of men and women's sexual desire.  The good news, however, is that there is a solution: and that is the whole point of this website!

We set out a program designed to give the greatest possible pleasure to both men and women during sex.  The object of the exercise is that whenever a woman wants an orgasm she should be able to achieve one.  And at the same time, the man should be fully satisfied as well.  And although his performance as a lover does not depend on giving his partner an orgasm during sex or masturbation, most men like to do this, and feel proud when they have done so (as well as finding it highly arousing). The approach we recommend will allow women to reach orgasm over 95% of the time during sex.....how to reach orgasm during intercourse explains it all.

Information on the connection between orgasm frequency and other factors