How To Really Pleasure Your Woman With Oral Sex

Men have been kissing women on their mouths, necks, ears, breasts, backs, thighs, and anywhere else they can think of that'll arouse them sexually, ever since they found out it works.

I guess it didn't take long for some enterprising man to find out that kissing a woman's vulva worked, did it ever! And that technique has become known as "giving head".

Giving head, i.e. pleasuring your partner sexually with your lips, tongue and mouth on her genitals, can be used to bring her to orgasm, to climax.

And after this, you'll usually find out that you'll both end up enjoying intercourse.

(It's important a man pleasures his partner orally before intercourse. When the man comes, he loses interest in sex, and it usually takes too long to build his arousal back up sufficiently to move from intercourse into a good job of orally pleasuring his partner.)

Now, it's fairly easy for a man to learn to do a good job of orally pleasuring a woman - or, as the slang has it - "eating her pussy" or "eating her out".

And if he's sensitive, gentle, and pays attention to what's written here, she'll love it.

Overcoming Preconceptions

About the only problem the uninitiated man has is over the perceived bad smell and taste of a woman's secretions. Many men, and women, think that the tastes and odors associated with a woman's pussy are offensive.

This isn't so, the natural fragrance and taste of the fresh secretions from a clean healthy woman are usually beautiful and very erotic to a man.

So this question needs to be settled at the very beginning. A couple should take turns tasting and smelling her pussy's natural fluids when she's fresh and clean. Once a man tries it, the taste and smell of a woman's sex will excite him and he'll look forward to it.

When a man fingers a woman (see the adverts to the right if you want some techniques that will drive her wild!) and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she'll forget this problem and he can dive right in.

A Word to The Wise

When a man is passionately eating out a woman's pussy, he's got a hard-on that won't quit. He wants to bury his face in her private areas and thrust his tongue into her vagina.

It's not unusual for a man to get so worked up emotionally while he's eating a woman's pussy that he reaches orgasm while he's doing it, and none of his sex organs are involved except his mind.

Sex should not be all oral. When the opportunity presents itself, like when you're passionately eating her out, she's starting on her second orgasm and she's really hot, you've got a hard-on that just won't quit and she's lying at the edge of the bed with you between her legs, and you look down and see that if you just got up on your knees your cock would find itself in her pussy, go ahead - give each other a good session of lovemaking.

Some women say that they feel lonesome when they're receiving head, they want to be held and kissed. This is why moving from eating her pussy smoothly into fucking her can be very satisfying.

The Art of Cunnilingus (or... How to Eat Pussy)

This section is for men who want learn how to properly eat a woman's pussy, or who've heard that it might not be all that bad to put their face down there, and for women who want to get their man to eat them.

Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her orgasm like crazy.

Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it's the easiest way to cum with a man. Also, you may have the littlest cock on the planet, but if you give great head, you'll be appreciated as a fabulous lover.

Yes, it's that important.

Besides, lots of women expect it these days so you might as well get to know what you're doing. Studies show that 90 percent of married couples under 25 give head and for couples over 50, at least 55 percent of the men are eating pussy, with 95 percent of the men and 82 percent of the women enjoying it.

First off, guys seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Guys that can't wait to get their cock into one are often reluctant to put their face "down there." For every guy who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish.

Women know this, and it affects their ability to lie back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy: tell her. When a guy fingers a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows that this is her lucky day.

So now what? You've found a secluded spot to play, maybe in your car parked behind a grove of trees, or better still, all comfy in your bed. You've been French kissing passionately, your tongues darting around in each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach.

Whoa! STOP!

I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning and humping you, or was it your own excitement you were detecting?

Women strongly prefer to be excited before a guy starts plunging his tongue into their inner recesses. Use your judgment, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach and over to her thighs, toying with her until she's lifting her pelvis up,  trying to get you to lick her vulva.

Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it. Women also don't particularly enjoy a guy endlessly nibbling her inner thigh while their clit is quivering in anticipation. More about this in a moment.

What's Down There?

Most men I know who really love women and want to enjoy sex (intercourse) with them also like to eat pussy.

But they don't want to just give her oral pleasure, they want to bring her to a great climax and then build her up for lovemaking that neither will forget, or maybe get oral sex in return if that's what she wants to do. I think that there are two basic reasons why oral is so popular.

First, many men want to give their woman the most sexual satisfaction they can, they enjoy pleasing her and will go to great lengths to do so.

And the more their woman likes what they are doing to her, the harder their cocks get until sometimes they ejaculate just from eating her.

Second, the tastes and odors of the fresh secretions from a clean healthy woman's pussy are extremely erotic to many men.

Put this all together, and your mouth on her pussy is where the action is, guys!

An Anatomy Lesson

Now that you've got your woman out of the shower, on the bed, and fairly well warmed up (or she's got you there), stop and look at what you see. Leave the lights on, or get a flashlight or something, so that you can examine her carefully.

Take a good look at what's between her legs. Beautiful, isn't it? There's nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy.

They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are smooth.

If she has hair, it can cover a large or small area but usually will go just up over the mons area, that fleshy mound over her pelvic bone, and down each side of her pussy to its lower end. It usually does not spread out to her thighs, though there may be sparse growth partially onto the outer lips. And of course, some women are much hairier than others.

Nestled to the side of her vulva are the outer lips (labia majora) of her pussy. They are not overly sensitive to touch on the outside (but it's a good place to start), about the same as the shaft of your cock. They extend from the upper part of the hood that covers her clit to more or less the bottom of her pussy.

They're thick and luscious in the middle and thin out at each end blending into her body. Some are almost closed while others are open to varying extents, allowing the inner pleasures to peep through.

They don't generally come together completely at the top, exposing the upper cone of the clitoral hood, and less so at the bottom, giving you a glimpse of the vaginal entrance, where the lower parts of the inner lips surround it.

Lower down and inside the outer lips are the inner lips (labia minora). These are much thinner. They're more sensitive and fun to play with. At the top they form the cone-shaped hood that protects the sensitive clit, closing in under the clit and then coming back out to continue down to the bottom of the vaginal entrance.

They tend to blossom out between the outer lips, some even hang down a ways, especially towards the lower edge.

Between the underside of the clit and the bottom of the vaginal opening lies the vestibule, your new playground. The urethra and vagina open into the vestibule. Excluding the obvious role of the clit, it's the vestibule and the entrance to the vagina where a lot of the action takes place.

Most of you know the clitoris is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to her if she is penetrated, vaginally or otherwise, but the easiest way to make her orgasm is to stimulate her clitoris....

And it's right there at the top junction of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance are going to feel good; just remember that's pleasurable teasing, compared to the stimulation of the clitoris.

Back to sex.

Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just great; but women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clit.

Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first, may be fine after she's very excited.

The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clit, but once they're ready, that's where you want to devote your attention.

Back off for now, rest your head on her thigh and just admire the view. Learn to appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Describe what you see, in poets' words if you can, but in any way you can as long as it's with love and admiration.

The key here is to go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell you what feels best, but  she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention.

If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.


You both have to be in comfortable positions to enjoy oral pleasure; you should not feel like you are enduring it! 

That usually means a lying, sitting or reclining position. She has to be able to spread her legs comfortably and hold them in that position. She should not have to have the weight of your body on her, or hers on you. She also needs to be able to put her hands on your head and pull it against her.

You might want to make eye contact with her while you are eating her. You have to be able to press your mouth to and your tongue in all of her pussy, including holding it deep in her pussy without getting a crick in your neck. You also want to be able to easily place your fingers inside her.

Well, the obvious place to start is a bed. She can recline comfortably against some pillows and watch you work. You can lie on your stomach between her legs, but if you do, you may find you'll have to tilt your head too far back to get your tongue in her pussy comfortably. Putting a couple of pillows under her hips to tilt her pelvis up will help with that problem. This is probably one of the better positions.

Another good one, maybe the best, is for her to slide her hips to the edge of the bed and rest her feet on two overstuffed chairs that are spread apart enough for you to rest between them. They can be turned so that she can rest her knees against the arms or backs.

A couple of pillows under her head and she can reach your head and watch to her heart's content. You can rest on a soft cushion on the floor, your head resting on her thigh, sucking on her clit for hours and have easy access to all of your afternoon's pleasures.

She can also straddle your face which can be a lot of fun, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her pussy, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment.

Getting Started

Gals who need instruction should just lie back and enjoy it! When he does something you like, tell him. Hold his head gently with your hands and guide him, talk to him, he'll love it.

Now for the men. The key here is to go slow, ask questions, really explore her body. Body language often tells you what feels best, but I promise, she'll appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hands, and pay attention.

Most women are shy about their bodies.

Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry if you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during lovemaking. They respond more to verbal love, which means the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off.

So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it. There's nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious. Don't be coy; tell her.

Many men, and women, feel that the tastes and odors associated with a woman's pussy are beautiful and erotic, especially to a man. You both need to settle this question at the very beginning. Take turns tasting and smelling her pussy's natural fluids when she's fresh and clean. When you finger her and then smell, lick, suck the juice off your finger and sigh as if in heaven, she'll forget this problem and you can dive right in.

What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Now wasn't that fun? Now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases . . .

Eating Her Out

Even though your woman wants you to eat her, she may still be somewhat hesitant about your going down on her.

Don't just dive right in, warm her up with some serious kissing and cuddling. Move over on top of her and put your legs between hers. Use your elbows to keep some of your weight off her. Slowly work your way down her body, caressing, licking and kissing her ears, eyes, throat, breasts, navel, and wherever she likes. Press your body down on her muff and slide it around as you move down, getting her used to something being on it besides your hand and cock.

Lap your tongue on down from her navel to the inside of her thigh. Raise her legs over your shoulders and rest your cheek on her mons while you continue to lick and kiss her thigh. Lick the crease between her thigh and pussy.

Brush your lips over her mons as you turn your head over to work on her other thigh. Look up at her, make eye contact and smile while you rub your cheek over her pussy.

When you see her facial expression begin to change to one of anticipation and feel her tilt her pussy up toward you, you know she's forgotten all about her hesitancy and you can start getting into the good stuff.

The inner part of her thigh is one of her more tender spots. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it. Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy.

Brush your lips over her pussy without pressing down on it to further excite her until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her.

Moisten your fingers and open her outer lips, examine them, taste the texture of the inner side with your tongue. See if her clit is starting to peek out from under its hood. Play with her inner lips with your lips and tongue. Open her inner lips and examine the vestibule.

See if you can find her meatus, the opening for her urethra.

It's a bit like the opening in the head of your cock that she plays with, so retrun the favor! Play with hers with your tongue. Look at the hole your cock has been playing around in. The entrance to her pussy looks like an open flower with its lower petals blending into the larger lowermost petals of the inner lips.

Taste its juices with your tongue, they should be flowing now. Slip your tongue farther in and feel the texture, move it around in her pussy and watch her response.

The Tongue

I want to repeat, there's almost nothing you can do with your tongue that won't feel terrific, so relax! You may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of her lips, pussy, or clit are going to feel just great.... even so, here are a few techniques that you might like to try!

Play around in the vestibule, try lapping from her vagina up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your tonguing. Run your tongue between the inner and outer lips on one side, while holding the two together with your lips.

Now do the other side. Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Keep your tongue inside her for a while, moving the tip around and around. That feels better, so now lick up to her clit again and kiss it, and (hopefully) watch her shudder. Feel the texture of the tip of her clit with your tongue, notice the taste of it. Spend some time slowly licking your tongue over all of her pussy, savoring the various tastes and textures.

Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it.

Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstasy or pain. The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really aroused. These are very intense actions which may be "too much" for some women, even when nearing orgasm.

With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like teasing her.

Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or more firmly, and when combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.


Fingers are valuable adjuncts to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly "thru" the skin of their lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, ask her, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done.

One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated and most of all, your nails cut, I mean cut back to the quick and sanded smooth. The slightest hangnail can be very painful when raked over that tender flesh.

There's nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger or hangnail roughly rubbed across one's clit.

Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere can be nothing short of bliss.

Sticking one or more fingers inside her pussy can also be wonderful. How many fingers you use depends on the woman. Some women don't want you to stick your finger inside them at all, some like only one (at least at first), some like to feel full so the more the better (within reason).

You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers pushed in hard) or wiggle them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing upwards.

Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving beckoning someone toward you. You're aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely her G spot.

When combined with sucking or licking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.

Putting it All Together

Variety is crucial. Do the unexpected, sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even include your nose, or your chin in the act.

Start slowly, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn-offs. As she gets more excited, pay more attention to her clit. As she gets closer to orgasm, don't leave her clit for more than a moment or two. It's great to move down to her pussy and then right back to her clit.

When she's three breaths away from orgasm, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally teasing her, but just understand that this is what you're doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a sensitive spot.

Speaking of prolonging the agony . . . I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop.

This isn't easy unless you really know your lover well. Just have her help you. Say, "Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're gonna come." Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth just briefly, flick it just the slightest bit with your tongue. You'll have this woman squirming and moaning like she's about to expire. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you're imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman orgasm.

OK, let's get back to where we were when we got off onto those tricks with tongues and fingers. You were lying there with your tongue up her pussy.

Open her outer and inner lips with your fingers. Get your whole mouth into the act. Press your lips against the lips of her pussy, and run your tongue in as far as you can get it to French kiss her inside, long and hard. Tongue-fuck her for a while, watching her response, then slide your tongue out of her.

She's hot now, so don't lose contact with her pussy, keep your mouth or tongue working on something. Slowly lap your tongue up the length of her vestibule to her clit and gently lick it a few times, a little harder as she raises her crotch up to you.

Play with her pussy lips with your lips and tongue, up and down, both sides. Kiss her pussy again and lap your tongue back up to her meatus and play with it a little, then on up to her clit again, pulling gently on it with your lips.

Run your tongue back down to the bottom of her pussy and then, keeping your tongue on the outside of one outer lip, lap it all the way up to the top, then drag it down to her pussy and back up to her clit. Do this several times, first one side, then the other.

Show her how much you like to eat her. Open your mouth wide and close it down over her pussy taking as much in as you can. press your mouth hard against her, rocking your head around and around while you find her clit with your tongue and start to lick it. She's running her fingers through your hair now, watching you intently, mouth open making those sexy sounds women make when they're really on the way to orgasm.

Release her lips and look up at her face, make eye contact, watch her expression and feel her raise her pussy up to you as you gently suck the head of her clit into your mouth, open wider and take its hood in, holding it with your lips.

Let her clit slip back under its hood, then suck it into your mouth again, flicking it with your tongue, let it slide back out under its hood and suck it back into your mouth again and again until it's sliding in and out.

Slide your hands along the sides of her pussy, working your thumbs into her pussy, fingering the top of it in time with the strokes of her clit. Drop her clit for a moment and lap your tongue up the length of her vestibule and start sucking her clit again, repeating this until she grabs your head, and pulls you to her harder and harder, rocking her crotch back and forth faster and faster. You've found what she wants, her clit sucked, and her vestibule licked, and she's gonna orgasm and you'd better not stop until she does . . . and then some.

Reaching Her Orgasm

Okay, she's grabbed your head and pressed your face into her body; she's practically suffocating you, she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her vagina contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up? The answer is simple, until she makes you stop.

Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you'd just keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.

If you're sucking her clit and fingering her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your penis inside her. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this.

If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms.

Each woman is unique. You may have one whose nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover. When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration.

When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her vagina.

If your fingers are inside, move them a little, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now. If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms - this way, a woman may stay aroused for an hour after she's had an orgasm.

How many times does she need to orgasm? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to come again, but need about five minutes to recoup.

Many women are so sensitive right after they orgasm that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact most women, given a short rest between, are capable of reaching orgasm again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to come repeatedly with continued stimulation.

This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that's experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.

The Afterglow

After you've made her cum, don't leave her alone just yet. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no sense of loss.

But a woman, by nature, requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex. Don't wipe yourself off, or walk around the bed to get to the other side, or go to the bathroom. Maintain close physical contact, work your way from where you were when she climaxed and make sure you hold her in your arms.

Lie close together, arms and legs intertwined, wet bodies pressed close together, perhaps letting your penis lie in the folds of her pussy. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts.

Keep loving her quietly until she's come all the way down, or, if nature allows, builds back up.


It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to "let go." What do you do about it?

The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home. If your partner is orgasmic only when she's alone - ask her point blank: "Is there something different I can do?"

Many women are shy about criticizing their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right, please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster.

But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't orgasm.

There are two probable causes: self-consciousness and/or lack of confidence.

For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you're doing. This is a "be here now" kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity.

Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (Mind you, getting drunk will definitely not help.)

Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Have her lie on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. Just close your eyes and get into it.

I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she'll be extravagantly thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to orgasm anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.

For women who feel that their vaginas are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals.

They don't love "that part" of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it's important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing their pussy. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste.

The natural taste and fragrance of the fresh secretions from a healthy woman's pussy are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she'll be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.


I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it through intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation.

If you feel comfortable going down on her, great, but make sure it's perfectly safe.

As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about menstruation.

Making a woman come is easier than you might think ]

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Female Anatomy

Side view of female anatomy

The clitoris has a hood, and a glans, similar to the penis. You can see this below.