Relationships, Life, Health & Success - The secrets of a successful life!

anger and emotions

February 13, 2014

What Lack of Anger Looks Like

Deflated, Inadequate

Boundary less. ‘I don’t need anger, boundaries, violence’. Passive aggressive, sarcastic. Expressing anger and aggression with a minimum personal risk.

Low self-esteem. Not believing I have any importance or that I exist in any meaningful way. Paralysing uncertainty instead of confidence and power. Feeling worthless. “I don’t matter”.

Being a victim. Easily manipulated. Getting picked on, betrayed, being a martyr. ‘You ruined my life after all I’ve done for you’. Betrayal. Antidote is loyalty.¬†Being physically abused, existing within a dangerous environment, being in fear of punishment.

Weak will. Giving up, being knocked back by difficulties, not being consistent, steady, or determined. Being easily manipulated. Lack of energy. Being unreliable.¬†Poor self-discipline. I can’t get up, I can’t get there on time, I can’t work. Being lazy. Low energy. Lack of follow through. Failure to build or complete.

I can’t do it. I can’t focus, I can’t stay on my task. Being continually distracted.
Self pitying, blaming, refusing to take responsibility. Blaming to place responsibility and our will outside ourselves.

Shame and guilt. The greater our shame the less we feel powerful, and the harder it is for us to forma strong ego. Shame blocks us and stops our liberating current flowing and so keeps us from effective action. We get stuck so we let our mind run the show.

If we are shamed or disapproved of for our efforts and our activity we start to distrust our selves, that our ego is the right one. Our sense of power diminishes, we distrust our abilities and fear the consequences of our worker energy. Feeling shame for the way we are manifesting, we inhibit our impulses and our power. We become constricted and self-conscious, loosing spontaneity and playfulness.

Child raising practices that break the child’s will to produce a “good” and “obedient” child will, by rejection or criticism, severely divide the child against itself. This will prevent it from developing its own inner authority. When our “inner King” is killed so early we take authority from outside ourselves in the authority figures around us, instead of from within ourselves.

Coping by avoidance. Avoiding confrontation and challenge. Letting others lead, avoiding risk and vulnerability. Not being able to maintain our boundaries or hold our commitments. Avoiding responsibility. Not being able to follow through or complete. Not being able to end relationships, or jobs, or to change our situation for the better.

Inflated: Savage / Defensive.

Aggression. Bullying, conquering, smashing, trashing others, being authoritarian, dominating of others, overuse of own will. Manipulative and power hungry.
Dominating, controlling, being overly aggressive, combative, abusive, hot tempered, temper tantrums, violent outbursts. Competitive, arrogant.

‘I can do it all’. Workaholic, perfectionist. Needing to be right and have the last word. Driving ambition. Hyperactive. Excess will trying to control everything.
Stonewalling, ‘I can take it’, ‘you’ll never get me’. Being stubborn.
Territorial gangster. Fights everything just to prove he/she exists.